Sunday, October 31, 2010

Trick Or Treat!

I remember two different versions of Halloween from my youth, one in which we ran around our neighborhood in a sugar induced euphoria, bouncing from house to house with out any thought in the world but how many wrappers we could pass out in by the end of the night. The other was what awesome party could I get invited to and how attractive of a costume could I come up with before that party arrived. Both of those Halloweens are fond memories, but none compared to the Halloween we had tonight. This third form of the holiday was twice as exciting, 3 times as important and 4 times as exhausting. There is so much pride at every door that opens with "awees' and ooohs" and there is such a thrill from watching the girls figure out this interesting exchange of "I knock on door and you give me candy", even though they don't know what candy is yet (but daddy sure does!). But after umpteen blocks of carrying around 30 pounds of baby, plus costumes, plus loot AAANNND trying to hold on to our dog who was sporting fairy wings and getting almost as much attention as the girls, my arms hurt, my feet hurt and my head is throbbing. I think one of those Halloween parties is actually taking place in my head right now, just behind the eyes, in one of my sinus cavities. It's way more exhausting being a parent of a kid on Halloween. And can I just rant for a little bit and say that anyone over 14 should not be trick or treating?! And definitely no one over 18. And especially, ESPECIALLY no one taller than me. If you're 6'4", you need to find something more age appropriate. And if you are under 14, but still taller then me, then get to basketball practice. ... what are you doing out here wasting that god given gift?! I don't know, as a dad with kids it feels like this is their holiday to be out and having this experience. Some junior in high school wearing a hoodie and sneakers, swearing and pushing his way through my kids to get to a free "fun sized" snickers bar really rubs me the wrong way. At the very least have enough courtesy to dress up and put some effort in. That's it. The transformation from cool guy to crotchety old man is nearly complete. Now you'll excuse me, I've got to hick up my slacks, find my reading glasses and yell at some kids to get off my lawn!

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