Thursday, January 19, 2012

Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady

There's so much about having a newborn that you forget. ... so much.  Like what it feels like to rock them to sleep. ... for hours and hours and hours. ... and hours.  Or how far they can projectile vomit and that cute little face they make afterwards that briefly erases the fact your covered in puke.  Then there's noises they make in their sleep that make you sit up from yours, turn on a light, rush to their side, only to see them happily snoozing away.  There's the bevy of soiled clothes drying on the shower door when you come home from work and cirque de solie routing to try and find a new and more effective burping position.  There's the attempted nursing on dad's bicep and the rush to try and stand up before we even have control of our neck.  And then there's the diapers.  Sweet baby Jesus. ... the diapers.  Thank god we got the girls on the potty trained when we did.  I don't think we could handle any more diapers. ... and by "we" I mostly mean Gina.  Last night, some time between the hours of "I'm so tired" and "What the F' are we doing up?!" Gina brought Rosaline in to bed to change her.  I'll be honest, I was groggy so I'm not sure if this was pre-feed or mid-feed but I do know that as soon as the new diaper went on. ... it became an old diaper.  "Really child?!" Gina exclaimed, "You just pooped!"  With a sigh she set about clean up number two.  That diaper went on and just as she raised her up to feed again a volumous, earth shattering rumble erupted from the 9 pounder in the room.  "Are you kidding?" Gina sighed.  All I could muster was "Pali?!"  - Greek for "again".  It's amazing how much Greek I know when I'm delerious or frantic. ... I think because most of my Greek is either swears or exclamations.  Anyway, final count was three poopy diapers back to back to back. ... or butt to butt to butt. ... that's probably more appropriate.  And I got off easy with out being called in to the rotation on this one at all.  I think if there would have been a fourth I might have gotten the call - but don't feel bad I still have my fair share.  In fact, I just deleted an additional story that would back this up. ... but it's a little too gross for 7:00 in the morning. ... count yourself lucky.  Oh the joys of newborns. ... where's this chapter in "What to Expect"?!

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