Crash Test Daddy

The girls are already proving the old adage true: women are terrible drivers. ... when they're 18 months old. We've been in the "pushing" phase for quite some time. Pushing toy cars, pushing walkers, pushing each other. At Yiayia's they have those little popper things that look like they're trying to teach kids the fun side of mowing the lawn. At Grandma's it's a little toy ATV. At home it's a Cozy Coupe (red car with yellow roof, you know the one) and a little sit down scooter that converts to a walker. For some reason, now, it's not just fun to push the toys, it's fun to crash them. And despite being surrounded by walls, they seem to have a habit of crashing in to us. Now, I'm a not a shoe guy. I'm a So Cal boy, so if I'm not at work or a funeral, I'm barefoot or in sandals. When I come home I put on shorts or some mangled jeans, an equally well worn t-shirt and that's it. I'm now considering adding my steel toe boots to the mix because my ankles and heals are battered, bruised and blistered. Last night I'm making dinner and I get the scooter to the back of the ankles at full force. Later my foot is run over by a speeding Cozy Coupe. I'm filling up the bath and I get the same runaway coupe to the lower back (how they managed to get said coupe through the door way and into the bathroom with out hitting anything yet still managed to strike me at full speed is as confusing as it is alarming). Karma is grateful she's secure behind her rehab gate, and the cat's have long since found hiding spots high off the ground, because they'd wind up road kill in this house. I'd suspend their licenses but I'm pretty sure you need a license to drive. ... they're not driving so much as careening out of control. God help me if this is any indication of how they'll be at 16. If that proves true I'm buying a lot of city bus passes. I'm thinking of your safety people. I'm thinking of you. Karma Update: For those following the dog saga, Karma got her stitches out and is now cone free (yay)! She's still confined with mobility but is allowed to go for leashed walks up to 10 minutes total per day. She's started to put some weight on it and the vet was quite pleased with that. So all in all we are making some good progress. Only about 9 more weeks of rehab to go.