Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Missing the Actions

I'm going to miss so much.  It's becoming evident.  Going forward, as the girls get older and I keep climbing the "ladder", our activity schedule will be in conflict.  When they're little, things like naps and lunch and Momma's sanity kept them limited to what they could do during the daylight hours.  But now, in the remaining years leading up to Kindergarten, they have all this wonderful time to fill with amazing things.  Today they started "Princess Ballet" classes.  Unfortunatly for the girls there were not real princesses to meet when they got there, but for me they were the princess to see.  But here I sit; 40 miles away; bills to pay and stacks of paper climbing higher then I care to describe.  And they danced.  And they loved it.  And they made friends. ... And I missed it.  "Missed" is a word that can be interpreted by the hearer/reader.  I don't lament being abscent, I lament not absorbing the moment.  I'm sure there were plenty of parents there that still missed it.  Parents who didn't realize how important that moment would be to someone else; but that's how it goes.  And it's only going to get worse.  Soccer starts for them in a few weeks.  This summer will hold theme parks, and water parks and park parks.  There will be craft classes and story times and play dates and all sorts of crazy-enducing moments.  And I'll miss those.  Desperatly.  It's the cruel paradox of life that, in order to support your children you must miss a great deal of that life your supporting.  Whoever had this brilliant idea of creating "work" was a real @$$hole.  I was never bothered by working before the girls.  But now, I feel like there's always some place better I could be.  If only a Nigerian banker would send me an e-mail asking for my help transfering a large some of money in exchange for a reasonable percentage; then I could retire and enjoy every princess dance class imaginable!  But alas, all I get are e-mails about Orbitz deal of the week.

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