Thursday, December 1, 2011

I rewrote this post 5 times

So I wrote this big entry just now. ... really passionate. ... a little abrassive.  But I deleted it.  It was too aimed at one party. ... and they didn't even know they were being aimed at.  Somethings that I feel need to be said. ... they just shouldn't be.  Don't worry, I'm not dealing with some kind of reality show styled fued or anything.  I just was made aware of some parenting choices of others and my dissappointment was evident.  But it's not my job to call people out and imply things. ... and that's what I was doing.  So I'm just going to generalize and broaden my message so that nobody knows it's really about them. ... tricky, huh?  So here it goes: step it up folks.  Parenting is hard.  But the difference between good parenting and mediocre parenting is just a jump to the left. ... and then a step to the riiiiiiiight.  Your kids. .... they are your life now.  They are not your wards between the waking hours of 7am and 8pm.  They are yours 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for (hopefully) the rest of your natural life.  Maybe even beyond.  Everything you do, and everything you don't do, is going to shape who they are.  Take an extra 5 minutes to read them a story at night.  Put down the gossip rag and play with them. ... on the floor. ... at their level.  Ask them about their day.  Who cares if you can't understand the response. ... it's practice for their conversation skills.  Ask them the colors in the world around them for the millionth time.  Go on a walk with them.  Let them "help" you in the kitchen. .... you can always clean up the "help" later.  Sit with them.  Not near them, with them.  Kiss them every time they walk by you. ... even if you have to chase them down and restrain them to do so.  Tell them you love them.  It's not a hard phrase and I'm sure you do.  Let's practice:  "I" - very good - "love" - you got this - "you". ... bellicima.  Make up stories during bath time.  Tell them they are good children.  Let them try to do things themselves, with out them realizing that you are fully in control of the situation at the time.  Say "hello" to them the moment you walk in the door - don't do anything else first.  Run to them when they call you - there should be nothing more important to you in the world.  Let them "teach" you.  We both know you realize the cat has orange fur, but it's important for them to feel like they're discovering something new.  Dance with them.  For the love of god, dance with them.  In your home, there's no one to judge you.  Being silly. ... it shows them that there are zero walls between you.  And that's a lot less fortification you're going to need to tear down when they're teenagers.  Most important of all. ... appreciate them.  I mean really appreciate them.  For some people kids aren't planned for.  Others call them a blessing but really wish they were somewhere else most of the time.  The truth is they are a gift.  A gift that many people fight for and never receive.  A gift that, sooner or later, you're going to realize the true value of.  And in that moment, you're going to regret that you didn't treat it as such sooner.  Don't say I didn't warn you.  Just listen to Harry Chapin's "Cat's in the Cradle".  So that's all today. ... had to get that off my chest.  We'll return to something more embarrassing tomorrow that my daughters will surely hate me for sharing.  But when they're my age, they'll realize that was just one more way that I was telling them I loved them.  I hope.  At least the shrink can explain that to them if they don't.

1 comment:

  1. Geez, Kyle, thanks a heap.

    Here I was, having arrived home moments after the sitter put the girls down for a nap. I was hoping against hope that they would settle down and sleep, while I caught up on my blog reading. I figured that me going in there after being gone all morning would just be tooooo much excitement.

    Then you got me feeling all weepy and guilty and emotional, so of COURSE I was going to go in there and give them hugs. And of COURSE I was going to go in there are give them kisses.

    ...and then I went in there and they were SO HAPPY TO SEE ME! And I gave them hugs and kisses. And we talked about the alphabet for a minute. And then I reminded them that it was nap time.

    And now I'm the worst mommy in the world, because I made them go back to bed so they could sleep off the unfathomable excitement of my return to their lives. I left them in there crying my name in an exhausted haze. Of course, now they're back to giggling.

    ...yup. I'm totally blaming this one on you. :P