Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Panic Switch

You know that feeling you got on the morning of your final exams, when you sat in that chair and the test was just starting to be passed your way.  Your heart started beatings somewhere in your throat and your stomach trembled and growled like a Yeti in some Himalayan cave.  Everything you studied flushed from your mind like a toilet and all you could suddenly remember was some random episode of Suddenly Susan that you thought you'd successfully burned from your memory bank.  Hello feeling. ... welcome back.  36 week check up yesterday and the realization hit. ... we're going to have a baby before the next month is out.  It's amazing. ... you have 9 months to prepare but suddenly you feel so unprepared.  Of course the doctor told us everything look fine, and then tossed in one little "but your amniotic fluid level is a little low (a 7) so drink more water and try to increase it by next week because if it drops to a 5 we'll have to deliver."  All Gina seemed to take from that is the baby is coming next week.  Of course this won't work, so she attempted to drink the Adriatic when she got home.  However this fear has now become persistent in her mind and the more she believes it the more I feel inclined to be convinced as well.  For two people who (my own opinion here) are pretty damn good at raising kids, I feel like maybe these first two were just flukes and this is the kid I"m reeeaallly going to screw up good.  All the knowledge I've accumulated through the years. ... gone.  I can't remember if I swaddle the arms first or tuck the legs.  Do I burp with my right hand or my left.  It's front to back wiping right?!  Oh god, I'm getting sweaty palms now.  Do you know how hard it is to type in a manic state with sweaty fingers?  It's hard.  I promise.  Fortunately I finished up the. ... see. ... it's happening.  I can't even remember the word.  It's not a crib. ... it's smaller and it's on a rocker. ... bassinet!  That's it.  Bassinet.  I finished up the bassinet last night, so at least the baby has some place to sleep.  Gina's worried about getting the baby cloths out of storage and washing them. ... of course I've pointed out that they were all washed before they went in to storage so unless we have a gnome infestation that's been wearing them to magical creature soiree we really just need to pull a box and go.  I feel really silly for all this excitement.  We've done this before.  In fact, we've done double this before.  This should be a walk in the park.  It's like Hideo Nomo worried about pitching to Little Leaguers.  You see how bad this is?  A Hideo Nomo reference in 2011.  And that's a Dogers Hideo Nomo reference so you know it's really old.  It's going to be fine.  It's going to be like riding a horse.  When we climb up and grab the reigns it's going to feel natural and perfect.  Of course the horse could always spook and then we ride off in to the sunset dangling from a boot stuck in a stirrup, never to be heard from again.  But, hey. ... that would make for one hell of a blog entry, so at least you'll be entertained.  Speaking of. ... what am I going to rename the blog.  "The Kopp Twins" won't work anymore. ... man, so much left to figure out before this baby comes.

1 comment:

  1. Maybe the Kopp Three? The Kopp Kids? If you were in Florida, you could be the Keystone Kopps!