Thursday, April 29, 2010

you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down. Letting the days go by, water flowing underground. So, obviously, I've just heard the Talking Heads on the radio and it's totally stuck in my mind. But it's not like that new catchy song where you only know three words in the chorus and yet you continue to sing it in your mind (or if your Gina out loud) mumbling through the other lyrics until you get to the part that you know. This is an old song, that I've heard a million times and yet it came on Jack and it kind of hit me in a weird way. I started asking these questions: How did I get here? Is this my beautiful wife? Are these my beautiful children? I don't have the beautiful house, but I am behind the wheel of a large automobile. It's an insane reality. 5 years ago I was dropping $100 bar tabs and doing back flips of the second story of a houseboat. Now I'm rushing home so I can feed pureed spinach to a beautiful little girl and follow that up by feeding more pureed spinach to an equally beautiful little girl so that I can put them to bed and have non-pureed spinach with a stunningly beautiful women who I have to thank for creating these beautiful little girls. Trust me, that's a heck of a lot of beauty to deal with. And that's in Stanton! The ultimate succubus of beauty as far as towns go. So how did I get here? How did I stumble my way through 28 years of life with out a clue of where I was going and end up in this beautiful mess? I'd call it luck, but I've never been a lucky person. I could tweak it a little and call it fortune but I don't recall a cookie every hinting at this. Grace if God maybe, but I'm sure there are many more worthy candidates. Karma? I don't recall a previous existence which means it couldn't have been that good. I don't know. But that song certainly feels like my past six months. I'm constantly coming up for air and finding myself asking how and why. Before I can get an answer though its back into the mix. After all there are still bed times and diapers and pureed spinach. I can't spend all day pondering, there's too much to enjoy. And if I had to choose between pondering and enjoying I'll take the enjoying. I guess some questions don't get answers. Sometimes you just go with the flow and the water takes you to paradise. Letting the days go by, water flowing underground. Into the blue again, after the money's gone. Once in a lifetime water flowing underground. Into the blue again, into the silent water.

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