Thursday, November 11, 2010

"That's your daughter!"

Explain to me how it is that when genes are passed from mother and father to the baby, only the good genes from the mother and the bad genes from the father are absorbed? You see, I'm noticing a pattern (shocking, Kyle sees a pattern in something): when ever the girls are cute, or funny, sweet or smart I'm always told they "must" get that from their mother. "Oh, look Arianna is so smart, Gina was just like that!" Or, my favorite, "Genevieve is so pretty, she looks just like Gina at that age." I'm ok with this, I'll agree my wife is a stunner and was a very cute baby, so that's an ok thing. But how come they only revert to being my offspring when they've blown out a diaper or shoved their finger up their nose? I haven't blown out a diaper in years, why am I getting credit for this?! Today I got a call about "my daughter" who decided to sit in a mud puddle while everyone was walking to the car this morning and completely mucked up her pants, shoes and everything else she had on, forcing Gina to go back in the house, clean her and redress her. When is the last time I chose to sit down in a mud puddle? And how is that a genetic trait that I passed along? I've already got a title in my house as "the king of all things sh!t" because I somehow get stuck with picking up animal waste, changing the really gross diapers, dispatching of weird insects and cleaning "unidentifiables" on the kitchen floor - now I'm also the bearer of genetic defaults? Am I supposed to add this to my resume? "The king of all things sh!t and purveyor of genetic defects". It's kind of catchy, but it hardly seems fair. I'm just saying, for once I'd like a positive trait to be attributed to my half of the DNA. And throwing an excellent tantrum (though it does have the word "excellent" in it) is hardly a positive trait. ... although I do throw a mean tantrum. One might even call it "excellent".

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