Wednesday, September 5, 2012


I think the hardest part about being a parent, the thing nobody teaches you about in a baby prep class and no one writes about when you're expecting, is keeping yourself from laughing hysterically when you need to be serious.  Last night I took advantage of my Father's Day gift and started my series of golf lessons.  As laughable as I may have looked that's not the funny part.  I got home just as the girls were going down and then Gina and I went into the kitchen to make some dinner.  We're talking for a while, enjoining a nice lass (OK, glasses) of pinot grigio when we hear a faint whisper during a lull in conversation.  Gina bellows in her "I'm not yelling I'm just being serious" mom voice for Genevieve to stop talking and go to sleep.  It's beauty is in it's ability to bounce off the walls and power its way into that back room, where we can now hear a forceful whisper attempting to quickly end the conversation they were having before mom actually comes back there.  I take the cue and journey back (I think dad coming in is like the warning shot; you know when you see dad you're gonna be fine, but don't push it because mom comes next).  I crack the door a little more and as I poke my head into the darkness, in perfect unison, both girls break into a Looney Tunes quality snoring sound effect.   I wish I could type how comical it actually sounded. ... it was perfect.  I had to yank my head back out of the room before I erupted in laughter because, like dogs smell fear, children smell entertained and if they sense they've got you on the ropes they'll come for the kill.  I run back to the kitchen and I tell Gina "you've got to go back there.  Just stick your head in; don't be mad.  Just stick your head in and tell me that's not hilarious!"  She does, and she agrees, though she's much better about handling herself then I am.  "What's going on in here" she questions.  "We sleeping" whispers Arianna in response as Genevieve amps up the volume on her snore to make the case in point.  This is why dad's need mom's. ... there's no way I could have gotten through that with a straight face.  I was completely and utterly useless.   I think the best part may have been the play by play of Arianna.  "We sleeping", as if you couldn't tell from the snoring, my telling you what's happening should clear the matter up.

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