Grandmas, Strawberries and Applesauce

We'll get to the title of this post in a moment, but first let me say what a wonderful day we had today (Memorial Day). Gina didn't have to go work the festival today and I had off work so we got a much needed family day (hadn't had one of those in two weeks) to bask in each others wonderfulness. We got up later - girls amazingly slept until 8 - and walked to Starbucks. ... nice to have coffee because it tastes good and not you desperately need the help of java to get through the day. We then came home for a nap (a short nap) and then headed over to our friend Merideth's house for a little bbq and pool time. Girls went swimming in a non heated pool (so did Karma) and did very well. They were able to brighten an already warm day even more. We went an extremely long time with out a nap and you wouldn't even have guessed it. Water logged and stuffed we piled into the car and headed to Grandmas for ANOTHER bbq and to see our new cousin for the first time out of the hospital. We napped on the way and for a little while after we got there and then were right back in the water. ... this time Grandma's jacuzzi. Well, needless to say, Mom and Dad weren't really rushing to jump out of the therapeutic waters as the girls dinner time rolled around so Grandma and my Aunt took on the feeding chore. We gave them some steamed sweet potato and a little shredded rib meat and told them once they were done they could give them some strawberries, applesauce and cheese if they still seemed hungry. See the title working it's way in here? Somehow, and this is the traditional grandmother move here, we made it to strawberries, applesauce and cheese with out ever touching the sweet potatoes or the meat. ... what can you say here. Grandmas hold this card. They can do what ever they want because they're still your mom, and no matter if you're 8, 28 or 88 you can't tell your mom what to do. You just can't. So grandmothers basically have a free pass on everything. That's why little red ridinghood went over the river and through the wolf infested woods all by herself and probably with out a can of mace. Because once at grandmas she could get a way with murder. Literally. Grandmas are the wild card in the deck - it doesn't matter if you're a queen, king or ace she trumps you. And she earned the right. She put up with me for 28 years. It's ok. If things go well, I'll be a grandpa one day and then it's my turn. And I'm sure there will be a blog entry dedicated to all the things I'm doing to spoil/corrupt my grandchildren. It's the circle of life.

Another Weekend of Just Dad

Gina's working a festival again this weekend - Northridge this time, so I don't have the luxury of having her 2 or 3 miles away if I need her. After Friday night I'm still super pumped being able to handle everything on my own, but the initial thrill has worn off slightly. You see, after the girls have gone down to bed the living room is an awfully quiet place. And as I cook my lone chicken breast and set the single place mat on the table I miss my wife. The truth is that I can handle these girls just fine on my own. ... but that doesn't make me need Gina any less. I think that's the sign of a good relationship. The ability to be independent, but the desire not to be.

Basketball

Is there anything more spectacular than spending the early evening on the floor watching the Lakers in the Western Conference Finals with the two most adorable little girls in the world climbing all over you? If you can find something that compares I'd love to know, and then argue with you that you are wrong. Dead wrong. Because there is nothing better. Growing up my father was a huuuuuggee basketball fan. He watched every Laker game, post season or summer league. But my dad was also a crazy person. Screaming at the TV as though the coaches had a two way and were seriously taking his suggestions into the huddle. I actually remember a neighbor calling the cops on us. Not because the TV volume but because my dad was screaming so loudly they were convinced it was a domestic violence situation. I'm not at all like my dad when it comes to sports spectating, and the rule in our house is we only watch playoff sports - cause let's face, there's a lot more to life then watching a game live. And as far as "passion" in watching. ... we never watched games with my dad. It was too tense, too terrifying. And I think he missed out. There is something so incredible about having your kids near to you. And when you're watching a game you're stationary - so much of the time we're running around like mad trying to fix dinner or wash clothes or clean up some unidentifiable mark on the floor - and being still allows the girls to implement your body into their exploration. They pull on your arm or prop themselves up on your leg. Genevieve lays back onto your lap, Arianna leans against your side, each constantly glancing up at you as if to make sure you've not left and then flashing you a big grin as if to say "thanks". It's moving. ... I don't know if I can describe it any better. It seems like such a simple scene, but the subtext is amazing. It's truly joyous. ... despite what ever outcome the game might bring.

Fragility of it all

A man walked into our office today and I would be lying if I didn't say I sized him up as he walked in. Short, early thirties, backwards hat, tattoo visible on the neck. He was carrying a small, plastic jug. I got up to approach the window ready to go in to my overly recited speach about how we're in a hiring freeze and not taking applications at this time, but he started before I could. He asked me if I was aware of the accident that had happened last week on a nearby intersection. I hadn't. He said if I drive that way I can see the flowers that have been left at the site. The victim was his 8 year old son. He's been out of work for the last 6 months and he is asking for donations to help with the funeral expenses. Now, again, I would be lying if I didn't admit that I have some reservations. I suspect that everything is a scam - it goes back to a really bad parking lot purchase almost 10 years ago - so I know the odds are that this guys son didn't really die in a traffic accident and the money in the jug is not going to a funeral. But what if he's not lying? And if he was he was one hell of an actor (and I of all people should know). He had the look on his face that you see in Newseek or Time on the faces of survivors. Those who've gone through a natural disaster or a catastrophic war. The blank stare of one who has absorbed so much so quickly they can't physically process the emotions that are swelling with in. Like so much wants to pour out so rapidly that it all clogs the emotional drain and you just walk around like a zombie for a while. He had that look. I didn't have cash on me, but had I there would have been no hesitation, even with the understanding of scam potential. As a parent it hit me hard. During Gina's pregnancy it was nothing but excitement - yes there was that horrible feeling in the back of our minds that something might go wrong, but for the most part the feeling is, once they get out we'll be in the clear. Wrong! That's when the real fear begins. Everything is terrifying. They won't go to sleep, somethings wrong. They are asleep, is everything alright? What about SIDS. Every eye gooey, every sniffle, every cut, every bruise. ... it's madness. Then god forbid they start walking! Is the table edge too sharp, the floor too hard? Do they have shoes on, jackets? Now they are playing in the front yard - what kind of sicko is going to do what? They're walking to school - like this child - what idiot is going to jump a curb? They are off to college, are they going to make good choices? It's this endless cycle of heartbeats skipped and inhales held. Of course you're a duck on water for their sake. Keep the surface cool and calm, so everything looks peaceful, but inside, under the water everything is turning like mad constantly. It's the most enjoyable thing being a parent, but it's equally the most stressful thing as well. You don't think about that until you're in it, and every tragedy that unfolds with in our line of site only adds to worry pile in the back of your mind. I love being a parent and I'm so terrified of that being taken away from me, of becoming a zombie, the walking dead, wearing a blank stare of one who has absorbed so much pain that the tears can't even flow. I want to cry for him. ... just at the remote possibility that his story was true.

New Cousin

Yesterday (5/24) brought the arrival of a new cousin for the girls. Caelyn Whitney Buschmann was born around 2pm weighing 8lbs and 25 1/2 inches long. Not a whopper, but the biggest of our cousins so far. She brings the total grandchildren count up to 6 with a current score of 2 boys and 4 girls. We are very excited to go and meet her this afternoon, and even more excited to watch her grow up. With only 7 months between them I am sure that she will become a prominant play figure in the girls lives, and hopefully a very good friend as well. I grew up an hour away from my closest cousins (San Dimas & Pasadena) with the rest scattered from Alaska to New Jersey so I never had the joy of interacting with any of them unless it was a very special occasion (Christmas, Thanksgiving for the close ones - a wedding or a death for the others). There was also a large age difference (my parents both being the babies of their families) and as I've grown older we've been able to establish relationships, but there was never the closeness that I see among Gina and her cousins and even more so among Gina's sisters and the younger set of cousins. I hope that my girls will experience a different scenario than I. Their cousins are all relativly close in age (7, 2, 9mos & 1 day) and in location (Cerritos, Lakewood & Chino) so the probability is high that things will work out that way. Additionally none of my siblings have come out and said that they are done having children either, so odds are good there are many more cousins to come. I'm sure the girls will find someone to play with out of the brood. And if all else fails, there in lies the beauty of twins. They'll always have each other. Of course, who's not going to want to play with them? They're freakin' awesome! Here are some pictures of the new addition.

Day 3 of Solo Parenting

So the third and final day of 1 on 2 was complete and utter chaos. ... no I'm kidding, it was perfect. We actually got to enjoy Momma for most of the day, we went to breakfast and then took a trip to Kohls to buy more pj's because we have enormous babies who aren't fitting in the 12 month jammies at 7 months old. But Kohls was too expensive (we mainly went there because I needed to get some new jeans as well, but we struck out there too), so we left empty handed. Gina finally went to the festival around 2:30, girls napped until after 4 and a couple of buddies came over and we all watched the Lakers disappoint. My Friends 4 year old daughter came over too and the girls got to play with her for almost 3 hours - which completely exhausted them, but I think they thoroughly enjoyed interacting with an older child. Karma loved it too because there was a new sucker in the house who enjoyed throwing the ball as much as she loves chasing it. We went with out incident. ... and then Momma came home. They must have sensed her and were feeling withdrawal symptoms from lack of Momma because about an hour after we got into bed they both woke up pretty intense. They weren't really screaming or crying it was just more aggravated flopping and a desperate need to be held. Gina fed them, but that didn't work, we rocked them, but that didn't work. It was very strange and very unusual for them. Especially considering how easy going they'd been all weekend. But hey, I can sympathize. It's tough going three days with limited Gina and, despite your best efforts, when you need a fix you just need a fix. On another note we should end Monday with a new cousin. My sister Kelly was induced at 2 am this morning and - although still in labor at the moment - should be delivering before the morning runs it's course. That means our new cousin Caelyn (Kay-Lynn) will join the ranks as the fourth girl in our group of "cousins". ... unless of course the doctors find something they weren't expecting. That'll make the new score 4 to 2.

Day 2 of solo parenting

Well we survived day two of "single" parenthood. Went over to grandmas for lunch, did some swimming, came home for naps and then went to see Momma at the Greek festival for a couple of hours. That was actually the roughest part of the day. See, we had planned to come for dinner so we got there at 5, we fed the girls their stuff and Gina and I weren't hungry yet so we walked around for a bit. Well, in my mind I had planned on leaving around 6:30 because I do not want to push them when it was only me putting them down. If there's two of us, it's not a big deal to stay someplace past bed time because when we get home we can tag team them and if they fell asleep on the way home we can get them in to bed and back to sleep pretty quickly. If it's just me, it's going to take a lot longer and if they are up too long then they just consider the car sleep to be a nap and they're up for at least another hour or so. Gina of course had planned to eat with me and, to be honest, she's never had to deal with the separation from them for very long. Every day I have to get up by myself, sneak out the door while everyone is asleep and rarely do I get to do much more than quickly glance on them and that has to sustain me for the next 10 hours or so. Gina hasn't had to do deal with that yet, so it was pretty rough on her to say the least. But despite Momma's disappointment it worked out. We got home and no one fell asleep (including Daddy, which is a good thing) and we made it into bed perfectly. So far, Daddy is surviving the weekend. We'll see how Sunday goes!