Stealing to Share

Genevieve has recently become quite the binky hog. It's not an addiction where she needs it all the time, we really only use them for bed time and in extreme meltdown situations that can't be resolved by other means, but when a binky is present Genevieve zero's in on it like a hawk on a rodent and with a locked gaze moves right towards it (by the way she started crawling last night - makes me feel super stupid for being concerned - so "moving" is actually taking place) with only one objective in mind: get binky in mouth. We keep a horde of binkies in the girls cribs so that if there are any problems in the night either they can get one on their own or we can easily find it in the dark when we come in. Lately, when you lay Genevieve down, the first thing she does is gather all the binkies in her crib up into her clutches, and she falls asleep like Scrooge McDuck on a pile of gold coins. If she's hanging out in the living room and some how a binky materializes she finds a way to make sure it ends up in her possession. This morning, we were all playing on our bed, each girl had come in with the nights binky in their mouth. Suddenly, Genevieve realized her sister had a binky. Keep in mind, she still had her own safely gripped between her teeth. ... tooth. But still, her hands slowly extend out toward her sisters face and - yoink! "That's my binky." She did this time and time again, Gina and I taking it back each time and returning it to Arianna who sat with a perplexed look on her face like one who has just had their purse snatched from them. Finally she did it again and we were either to exhausted from repeating the same monotonous task over and over again or curious to see how Arianna would respond given the time to contemplate so we left the situation alone. Genevieve studied the binky in her hand for few moments, tried to shove it in to her mouth with the other one still in it, looked at her sisters empty mouth and then returned to binky. She tried to actually put in Arianna's mouth for her, but the coordination was not quite there, so Arianna just took it and did the task on her own. But the thought was there - she actually looked at her sisters empty mouth and shared her excess of binkies. ... granted her first instinct was to steal the binky and add it to her own collection, but hey, can't be picky here. At least her 2nd thought was a good moral decision. Isn't that what second chances are all about?

Furlough Fridays

So the 6% pay decrease in exchange for every Friday off at noon is actually much more worth it than it looks on paper. Life is priceless, so they say, therefore half of a day extra to play with my girls is infinitely more valuable than 6% of my paycheck. Yes, we are blessed that we are not scrounging pennies for survival and such a loss can be absorbed (thanks to yoga money), but even if we were I think in the back of my mind there would still be a warmness and gratitude for the blessing in disguise. Because our jobs consume so much of our time, so much of our life is missed. It's nice to be forced to experience a little more of it than the past would have allowed. Today was the first beach day for the girls and I had the opportunity to be there. ... it was a missed opportunity however because after driving 45 minutes from my office to the beach there was not a single parking spot available (keep in mind said 6% decrees means I enjoy life, but am also a cheap bastard who won't pay $15 to park at Bolsa Chica for an hour). So I drove around for another 30 minutes or so (and "drive" means I sat in one spot way in the back of the queued cars waiting for a spot) before I decided to just pack it in. At least I had the opportunity to join my girls at the beach. ... that's more than most people had today, right? Plus I got to see pictures. So it was like I WAS there, with out the sunburn.

An Apple and An Orange

I know we're not supposed to compare twins. It's like the Cardinal Rule of multiples - you can't compare two different children despite their exposure to the exact same environment. They are, after all, still two different people. ... but man is that hard! How are you not supposed to do that? It's like when you're mother taught you not to stare at people, but then a 400lb Elvis impersonator in his 80's walks by. Or how they tell you don't look at the accident on the side of the road, just keep driving. But have you ever passed a ball of twisted metal with a 30 foot flame and not turned your head like the "we are legion" girl from The Exorcist? So how now (brown cow) can I not compare two girls who have been exposed to the same exact conditions for the past 8 months? If one gets sick and the other doesn't how can I not pause and wonder why?! They wore the same cloths in the same temperatures to the same place where they saw the same people. How is it one reacted one way and the other reacted totally different? The latest problem I have is with the crawling. Arianna is like a pinball, bouncing from one object to the next at breakneck speeds. As soon as she arrives at her destination, she plots a new course and is of in a blur of arms and legs. Genevieve, my sweet Genevieve, goes pretty much no where. At all. Ever. She's grasped the concept. She knows that movement requires her to be on her belly, and she's figured out that the arms and the legs play a key role, so she gets on her knees, rocks a little bit and then just kind of melts back in to the floor where she flops around a few times before crying. And my problem is not that she can't do it. I know that all kids develop differently, some kids take longer to crawl, some don't do it at all. My problem is I feel so bad for her because I think she really wants to. She watches her sister zoom around and she acts like she wants to go to. Or her sister comes and steals a toy from her and takes off with it and there's nothing that Geneveive can do but watch. So rather than think I have any disappointment I want to make it clear that I don't - I just feel bad for her and I want her to be able to do the things she wants. But when I try and work with her (get her on her knees, move her hands and legs, ect.) she only shows interest in standing up and trying to walk. Part of me thinks that she's come to the conclusion "why settle for matching my sister when I can just best her. If I can walk first while she's still crawling, then I'll have the upper hand." Maybe that's the subtext - we'll never know for sure. I'm just having a really tough time accepting that they are different people who will do things differently, and that's OK. It's almost like I just want them to be even, that way no one is left out or feeling better/worse about life. But that's the human condition, isn't it. If not for those feelings the idea of greatness would not exist. Can you imagine Neil Armstrong landing on the moon and planting 180+ flags for all the other countries who could not figure out how to get there? That would kind of take the fun out of things. It's easier to do when your kids are not at the same level, side by side in life. You can separate them easier when there's a one year, two year, ten year gap. But this is my problem, not there's. As far as they are concerned - life is going great, whether you're crawling like mad or just sitting and enjoying the scenery.

Standing Room Only

Along with the baptism we had another big milestone achieved, Arianna (surprise, surprise) has discovered how to pull herself up to standing position in her crib. And she's gotten so good at it she is able to do it in her sleep. ...literally. However, like most new dare-devils she has yet to figure out her landing before she's airborne. This leaves a predicament. You've managed to stand yourself up at 4 in the morning, but now how do you get back down. So far the only thing that works is screaming like a banshee. Hopefully, we discover a new tactic soon as this one is getting old.

Baptism

Well, the big event has come and gone. The baptism was yesterday and to say it was beautiful would not do it justice. Those of you who were there we thank you for your support. Those who missed it were missed, but we know you were there in spirit and we thank you for that. The service it's self was very nice. First time parents we really didn't know what we were supposed to do, but the priest walked us through it and was very patient. If you didn't know we selected Gina's sisters as the Godmothers (Nouna's) and because she's not Greek Orthodox but a very important figure in the girls lives my youngest sister, Cassie, stood up there with us and assisted. The girls did great, Genevieve got a little fussy but nothing a binky and a stuffed giraffe couldn't fix. Arianna ate it up, smiling and twisting around to look at the attendants. Two highlights were when the priest (middle aged and balding) commented that the girls had his hair style, and when he went to give Genevieve communion and she voraciously consumed it, eliciting a "brava" from the priest. I had a little flashback when the priest handed me two large lighted candles like the ones from our wedding. I thought maybe I'd get some more matching scars from the melting wax, but fortunately that didn't happen this time. The party after was exactly as we had hoped. A gorgeous sunny day, everyone happy and smiling and the girls just perfect in disposition. I gave a little speech that got me chocked up quite good. It's amazing that as comfortable as I am speaking in public, either on stage or in debate, I lose myself when I talk about my family. I can't refer to my wife with out getting misty eyed and now, even acknowledging my children turns me to a weepy babe myself. I feel like the Stay Puff Marshmallow man in Ghostbusters. Large and intimidating, but at the end of the day I'm just made of gooey sugar and creme. Party lasted until almost 9pm when the final stragglers made their way out. Exhausting day, but truly one that we will remember for ever.

Anniversary

Let me first apologize, it's been far too long since my last post but I'm sure you'll forgive me. As most of you know life's been very busy the last few weeks all coming to a head with tomorrows baptism. I promise to pick up the slack after that. I did, however, feel the need to share with you our Anniversary adventure last night. Gina and I celebrated our 4th year - I know, crazy! Gina's godmother had given us gift certificates to the Melting Pot a while back, which (as a law student I love) came with a babysitting clause. We could only use them if she got to watch the girls. So we thought free money and a new experience (neither of us have been to this restaurant) sound like a good combo for our anniversary so we cashed them in. We opted to go early so if there were problems we could get back and help out before it was too long past their bed times, and we figured it would be empty at 5:30 on a Thursday. After last nights events Gina and I talked at lenght about our personality types when it comes to planning. We aren't much for plans. We like general directions and then just go with the flow after that. And it tends to work out. People who plan have a good time 99% of the time, because they stick to their schedules and plans. But people who don't have a GREAT time 50% of the time because they stumble into better situations then they could have ever planned. The other 50% are total disasters, but hey, you win some you lose some, right?! So we don't plan, thus we never made reservations for a restaurant we'd never been to. Thus we don't eat at said new restaurant because they are booked until after 7. Idea number 2 was Beni Hana's down the street. Not even a parking spot. Seriously, not a single one. We then tried another restaraunt down the street, but the valet only and the dozen exotic imports parked out front told me it was way out of our price range (remember we were originally working with gift cards here) so I said no, much to starving Gina's chagrin. As we sat on the non moving 405 pointed in the direction of home we laughed at the thought that we might end up with a Subway footlong meatball sandwich and a box of Chardonnay to split for the evening and the fact that such a scene would fit us perfectly. Fortunately, after we made the ill advised decision to transition on to the 55 (moving even less) a much more perfect idea hit me. Up a little further, West on the 22, exit at The City Drive, park in the North lot, walk towards the theater. There's our Mecca. The place that has and always will define us. The place we should have gone to in the beginning. Tu Tu Tango's. It's been a long while, but it's still home - and Clara the waitress still remembers us by name (we actually didn't see her at first so we sat outside and when she was walking by a window she noticed us and came out to say "hi" and ask about the girls, who were barely little sea monkeys the last time we came here). The girls got to bed fine with out us, we enjoyed some wine and brilliant food, and our adventure came to a wonderful close. The night truly embodying all that we are, especially the return home. The past four years have been wonderful, but what really excites me is the years that have yet to play out. I think the purpose of an anniversary is not just a celebration of the past accomplishments, it's a pep rally for the ones yet to come. And boy am I excited.

How do you know when to stay and when to go?

Out of fear of jinxing the situation, we've remained mum the past couple weeks but it seems official that we've finally transitioned to sleeping through the night (if you recall the evening of Queen, that was the start of something beautiful). So now, for the most part, the girls are going from 7:30pm to 5am, with a few peeps and whines here and there, but nothing that requires us to get up and rush to feed them or settle them down as they are able to sort things out themselves and go back to sleep. Well last night we hit a little bump that we've not encountered so far in this new era. Genevieve woke up crying at 11:30 - possibly because a friend of ours is in town staying with us and we were still up talking, which is not normally the case - but it was a little more than what she's typically done the past week or two so I buckled and I went in to settle her. Because of my actions Gina will blame the next 45 minutes on me. In my defense, most of the evening leading up to bed time she had acted like her tummy was hurting her - and she's not normally very whinny so I assume something really was bothering her. I don't have a problem letting a crabby kid cry for a bit, but I do have a problem letting her cry if she's genuinely not feeling well. No one likes to be alone in the dark when they are sick. However, after I rescued her, rocked her for a bit and settled her down she decided that she very much liked having the company and was not in the mood for me to leave. So crying became balling became screaming became finger pointing at Daddy. I tell you what, you do a kid a favor and this is how they repay you. So it brings me to the quandary of today's title: How do you know when to go in and rescue and when (and more importantly how long and how hard) to let them cry once you've established this new sleeping pattern? After the 45 minutes or so Gina gave her some water from a bottle and she settled down and went back to sleep - by know the once successful Queen CD was well into it's second time around and I'd tried rocking her and putting her back down 2 more times. So was this really my fault or would she have naturally gone through this sequence with out my involvement? It's a tough call. As I said I have no problem letting them cry when they're just being crabby for no reason, but if she's really in a bad way I want to be there for her, I want to reassure her that when she really does need me I will be there for her. Of course I am also really liking this sleep thing - as is Gina. Trust me. She was pissed at the thought that I've completely destroyed the last two week run of success. I guess this is just one of those things you never really know the right answer to. Like how do you know the mirror in the GAP isn't lying about the way those jeans look? How many jelly beans are in the jar? And why is it that Bjork was ever signed to a recording contract?